Well happy V-Day to me! What? No, I know it's not Valentine's Day, but today is what they call our "viability date" which is a decent milestone for me. What that means is at this point, if we happen to go into preterm labor, the doctors will now technically do all they can do to save the baby, whereas before this date, it would be just too early and not much could be done. So this day really does mean a lot to me, and with each passing day, the percentages get higher and higher as far as survival for our little one if we make an emergency trip to labor and delivery. Yes, I know I've been a nervous wreck since the day we found out we had a little life in us, but I'd like to think that it's just mother's love coming in strong, and I so desperately want to meet our new addition. Maybe it's been my lesson in life, knowing that things do not always turn up daisies and roses, and that horrible things can happen to those you love, that has made me so weary and tense sometimes, but I do completely understand now that we have so much to be thankful for. Even walking down the street, or doing something mundane with ease, I thank God that I am fortunate enough to have all my capacities and a healthy, strong body. It is a luxury that will never go unnoticed by me. But along with having all naïveté being cleared from my life, comes with it a sneaking suspicion that something dark may be around the corner sometimes. Does it make me more appreciative? Yes. Does it scare the crud out of me sometimes? Yes. And I know I probably seem like a crazy person when I ask my doctor a hundred questions, most recently, "when can I relax?" Her answer? "Never." Great. Oh well, in the words of a song, most popularly covered by Doris Day, what will be, will be. I am trying to adopt this attitude, and in fact, has even become my mantra in the past few years. Sorry for all the deep thoughts, but I want to be as honest as I can with my thoughts and feelings, even if some may say I'm a little overboard or a little cuckoo. I guess there's just a lot going through my mind lately...
Anywho, I've recently read Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy, given to me by Angela, and I literally laughed out loud many a time while reading. I strongly recommend this book to any pregnant woman, or anyone who has been pregnant. It's funny, it's frank, and it's just one of those books that makes you feel better that you can't poop, or about the numerous funny changes that invade your body, but I won't get into it here... I give it two thumbs up and a belly button sticking out! Which reminds me, it's time for my weekly update:
Total weight gain/loss: I weighed in yesterday at 116, so I've gained 14 lbs as of yet
Stretch marks? None yet
Sleep: Ugh, sleep is not the word for it, more like sporadic naps that take place throughout the night...
Best moment this week: Baby and I went to lay out by the pool for about 30 minutes, and I actually felt great in a bikini, belly and all!
Movement: Shawn got to feel a huge kick, and he even got to see one from the outside. We've got movement many many times a day!
Food cravings: Last night, I HAD to have a cheeseburger. Too bad I had to settle for a fast food one since it was almost 10pm. But I did finally get to make my red velvet cupcakes with chocolate chips inside and cream cheese frosting... Yum!
Gender: It's a girl!
Labor Signs: No true signs this week, we just have some tightening and back pressure once in a while
Belly Button in or out? Oh she's a comin' out! It changes throughout the day, though. I'd say 60% of the time you can see it through my shirt...
What I miss: Honestly? My social life. It seems being pregnant makes you go lower on some of your friend's phone tree...
What I am looking forward to: Getting my house in order. Hurry up, nesting phase!
Weekly Wisdom: I'm going to have up moments, and I'm going to have down moments. I need to listen to my mind and my body, and things are going to change. Things are changing. But for these changes, I am thankful.
Milestones: Today we have a baby that has a chance if something goes wrong, and that makes me feel wonderful and powerful.
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